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Friday, 01 February 2008

Thursday, 18 October 2007

  • Currently Listening: Awake
    - You are loved

    Society and the sickos in it...

    http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/17/rape.tape/

    I've been surfing through CNN video's online and i am absolutely awe struck. Everything I've watched or read over the past hour has increasingly made me angry with humanity. Robberies, scandals, pop artist propaganda. This is all ridiculous. The i saw the story in the link I've posted above this little rant and literally felt ill. This man, Chester Stiles, did awful things to this beautiful two year old girl. She's seven now, and is said to not remember any of it. He's facing up to 21 separate felony charges. The mother of this little girl sad that she "Would rather have never found out" about what had happened. That, in itself, sickens me.

    There is nothing I can do for that baby, or for any other child in the world who has been or will be molested. As a mother, I can't even begin to tell you how much that hurts me. At the age of two years old that little angel was forced to do indescribable things on camera. The man claims to have been molested as a child himself. People are saying that "He's not all there". In most cases of rape/molestation the person will act out sexually later on in life. Normally this means having multiple partners, becoming homosexual due to fear or confusion, lashing out on people who remind them of the person who hurt them and in some cases they will completely shut themselves away from all things sexual. There are also many cases in which the individual becomes a rapist themselves. But to take something from a child that young? To watch him or her in pain as you do those things? To have the fucking audacity to tell them it's your secret, not to tell anyone?
    Working at a daycare before i did work closely with a little girl who was molested by her biological father. She was bright, beautiful, and always getting in trouble for kissing the boys in her class. Not merely a kiss on the cheek, but full on snogging. She would walk with her head down at all times. Her eyes were empty. I talked a lot with her mother, we thought of ways to keep her active and to enforce the rule of no kissing in a gentle way. She had a hard time understanding how what she was doing was wrong, but at the same time...hid while doing it and lied when caught. She was in the third grade. Children know that those things are not supposed to happen. It makes me ill to think that there are those heartless fucks walking among us every day.

    A woman who i was extremely close to for many years was raped not only by her father, but by another man close to the family as well, both occurred before the age of fifteen. She is a strong, beautiful woman with a wonderful mind for music and an outstanding voice, as a child she took place in pageants and was a little model. Now she dresses like a man, has very short hair, is angry in her music and blames herself. Another dear friend was raped by a man and he is now seen as "Flamboyantly" homosexual. At the age of fifteen I was raped and afterwards had an addiction to sex, thinking that it was the only way to make a man happy. If they would steal it from you obviously it's all your good for, right? I've since dealt with my addiction. I've undergone lots and lots of therapy, but to this day have issues with my self image.

    No one knows why the victims of these awful acts choose the things they do. No one can say why the girl who was raped by a man hates men and the boy raped by a man cant find woman attractive. We wont ever know. But there is one thing that everyone should try to make known- that is the pain they felt, the anger they deal with every day because of what was done to them. Perhaps if everyone who deals with this did so in a way that people heard about it. What if a man who was thinking about rape heard every day the effects it has had on thousands of lives. Will he decide against it? Will the better part of him take over and feel that pain himself? These are just thoughts, but what if there was an organization for victims of rape? What if stories were made public? What if, rather then being ashamed of what was done to us and hiding it, we stood tall and told the world about the trials and the hurt?

    Perhaps it would do nothing. Maybe this is an absolutely awful idea. But hey, one can hope that doing such things would help.

    I'm not upset in the slightest that i don't keep up with the news. I hate that these things happen and I know that there is nothing that can be done to stop these sick individuals. So when I say that i have no idea what's going on in our state, country, or world it's not because I'm to unintelligent to understand what's going on, but because I choose to remain ignorant.

    I hate the world.
    Sometimes I feel bad for bring my daughter into this mess.

    In Other news....

    Chris and I are doing very well. Happy as ever in this relationship. It's hard to believe that he's still here, I mean...most of the guys bail out (Or i boot them out) of the relationship about the six month mark. lol. Four months and it will be a year with Him. I can't wait to say "I do", I adore this man. It seems like just yesterday we were just having coffee at IHOP al the time as buddies. lol. Trin has a fever today, but outside of that she's doing well. Thats about it for now.
    Hope you're having a great day.
    <3


Monday, 30 July 2007

  • Excited!!

    Oh. My. God.
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    So yesterday as everyone was sitting out on the back porch at the g-ma's house I asked Chris for a lighter.
    He reached into his pocket and rather then a lighter, pulls out a ring. "Oops...that's not a lighter. Well..."

    I thought I was going to fall over dead! My entire family was in one it too! They helped him by making sure I didn't leave. lol
    I am going to be Mrs. Aubrey Nicole Sapero come either spring or winter. We've yet to decide.

    I am so insanely happy. We have our little spats every now and again but it's never anything serious.
    No have has ever made me so happy.

    Like....whoa.
    >.<





      

Friday, 20 July 2007

  • For you....


    This is in response to both things you've written to me. I feel that you at least deserve a response.

    Living out on my own with my amazing daughter, the man I am head over heals in love with and
    our beautiful little dog, Echo.

    We have a little family. In the future, we plan on making it a formal family.
    I'm sorry that you're so stuck on me. I'm sorry that you really think that Trin even remembers you.
    Maybe moving back is a good idea for you, Trin and I are very happy. We've found her a daddy who will be there for her. Who will show here what is right and wrong and love her through everything. He is also good for me, see- there is a balance that needs to be kept and you did not have it. You were great with the baby, i'll admit that. But you were only good to me in the beginning. The man I have now is both. And your little comment about his being a pussy was very childish. You know nothing about him, Only what Lindsey told you. (And i'm sure that it was nothing good. You know, She's awful lonely now. You might have a chance.) That alone proves that you're not grown up enough to be what i needed.

    That's all that there is to it. My family all absolutely love him, I adore him, my daughter sees him as her daddy.

    I have my family, Now you forget about me and find your own.

    I hope life treats you well.

    AS FOR THE REST OF YOU...

    Hope you're having a wonderful day! here are some of the shots going into my art show. Thats like...two weeks away! You better be there.
    Hope to see you guys there!!!!!!!

Saturday, 10 March 2007

  • Mazzio's, Walmart, flashlights, and on to ghost hunting in the middle of no where, and to top this wonderful evening off I scared the hell out of Sam who was sitting in her car at 3:30 in the morning. lol. This had to be the best night ever.

    It's pretty awesome to be able to hang out with a guy and feel this comfortable with him from the very beginning. Good times.

    Next weekend...300. I'm excited.

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Bleed_me_for_life

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    • Name: ~*Aubrey*~
    • Country: United States
    • State: Oklahoma
    • Metro: Tulsa
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 10/23/2004

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About Me

  • I have an absolutely amazing daughter who is the light of my life. I did kickbox quite a bit pre-baby. I play the bass and the Violin and I enjoy the fine arts.(i.e. Opera, Musicals, Art in general.) I work mostly in Charcoal, myself, but enjoy everything beautiful.

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